Reflections on Friendship

I had a longish drive today taking my youngest to the get shots. The morning, thick and foggy, called for subdued music. Dido went into the player and as I always do on a long drive, I went into heavy thought mode. A friend was wrestling with the decision to end a long-term friendship, asking if I could relate to her situation. I thought about that the whole drive. I never see Liz anymore these days, our lives on different paths, keeping us apart. My life doesn't fit into hers and vice versa. Nevermind the distance and the lack of regular communication, Liz is forever my greatest friend. For the first couple of years our friendship suffered high school hardships. I wasn't into the burnout scene, the rest of her friends were. She hated the theater crowd, I was always in the midst of some production. We came together on art. She helping me to overcome my gross lack of artistic self confidence, me talking about composition and striving towards your goals. Liz is a phenomenal photographer, her skills have blossomed and I hope she continues to keep it in her life despite her other career goals. She did my wedding photography CLICK HERE at the end of the post you'll see a wedding pic. Whatever we have gone through and whatever is to come there is nothing that will blacken the place in my heart I hold for her. She could tell me to fuck off and never speak to me again (I would be crushed, shattered really) but that place would still be there. Liz was there for me when no one else could or wanted to be. My own mother didn't have the strength to see me in so much pain. I called Liz and she came immediately. She walked out of a college class, didn't even stop home for a toothbrush, and drove hours to be by my side. She held me up emotionally, argued with my insensitive health insurance to make sure I had a professional to talk to, arranged for someone to take me to the funeral, sat with me in the bathroom when I was too paranoid to pee alone, fed me, washed laundry, looked after my animals, the list is enormous.... This was when David killed himself CLICK HERE to read the archive on the incident. She took a picture of me the day I found David. I don't like to look at it much. The clarity of the pain is almost to much to bear. There have been plenty of good times and fun times but this one act has forever affected who I am. Had she not picked me up that day, become my life perserver, I surely would have drowned in sorrow. She has enabled me to reach my hands out to someone drowning. Even if for just a brief moment, I know their pain and I am willing to shoulder it so they can breath. Thank you Liz for being the greatest influence in my life. I have to go now... There are tears spilling from my eyes.